It's hard to believe tomorrow will mark 2 weeks left until Jackson is to arrive. These days my mind has been completely preoccupied with so many things regarding his coming. I'm really having to constantly remind myself that I am not able to plan this out, and it is in God's hands. Being the avid planner that I am, this is very, very difficult!
It's not so much that I am worried, or frightened of labor or a newborn. It's that there is no set schedule. He can come tonight if he wants! Or, he can wait 16 more days...which I am praying daily he chooses not to do.
The lack of sleep is starting to get to me. I'm not really that uncomfortable (although, it will be nice to not be pregnant anymore!) it's that my mind races in the middle of the night about the most random things. To feel as if I have control over when he will come, I am compensating by the need to be sure we have purchased every little thing that we may need for him. I need to consciously stop myself. I guess this is a way to keep me preoccupied.
Another countdown is also in the works. Only 7 days left of work prior to my departure. At this point, we are not sure if I will be going back full time, part time or at all. So, it's kind of a weird feeling. I'm trying to go in every day seeing the positive aspects of my job (there are so many!) and really trying to think about what I'm going to miss about being there. This helps remind me of how absolutely blessed I am.
This post may be a lot of my random thoughts, but it is a true reflection of how I have been feeling every day (& night!). I'm enjoying the final moments left of just the unit of Aaron and I. The sleep that we can get is so treasured, and our relaxing time alone is so important. The day goes by quickly, but the accumulated days are an eternity in anticipation of our sweet boy's arrival.
To my sweet baby Jackson-we are so excited to meet you and see the blessing that God has provided to our family. You are already a precious child of God, and we can't wait to help you on your journey in exploring your new world. We love you more than words can say...already.
God, please provide my thoughts and heart peace as we embark on the last days of this journey. We are constantly reminded of the love and blessings you provide for us daily!
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