More than self-sacrifice

I don't think it's possible to fully understand the scope of being a parent until you become a grandparent.

And probably even then, there's new lessons in parenting to learn.

Okay, here's the current state of the little man.

Finally.

I have had a battle with my soul regarding "cry it out." And, I'm sure I'm not the first parent either. But, when you've been trying to get your baby to sleep for the past hour and half (you know he's tired.) He's had a full meal, no poopy diaper, no teething issues. He's just cranky.

After an hour and half of walking around the neighborhood, swinging him, nursing him (I caved...but for just a minute) this little man would NOT fall asleep. So I had one last resort.

I came home, gave him a nice bath and put on his mobile with music, and left the room with him staring at the mobile.

I brought the monitor with me into my room to take a shower. About 5 minutes in, the crying began.

I intentionally took one of the longest showers of my life. This way, at least the crying was muted. I thought maybe the pain I was feeling would be less.

After getting out of the shower I went to check on him very quickly. I wanted to make sure he had not cried so hard he pooped. (Seriously, this is how hard he was crying.) I picked him up to check and he immediately stopped crying. This is when I really knew I was doing the right thing. So I set him back down, tried to put the pacifier in his mouth (needless to say that did no good) and walked out the door with tears streaming down my face.

A total of 45 minutes of straight crying, and he finally passed out.

Being a parent is more than self-sacrifice. It's more than eating the majority of your meals cold because you need to feed him or change a diaper and it's more than waking up every Saturday at 7:00am.

I'm learning just as much as he is. So I guess I always have to remember that we're in it together. And at times, it will be painful for both of us.